Autnic

just got back from autnic and our internet is working again... yay! autnic was fun... ish. i guess it would have been better if it wasnt so freaking cold! or if ppl had done something. there was only really one attractive chick there... disappointing. courtney waded into the lake up to her waist... at first i didnt beleive it but its true. ummm thats about all that happened. oh and lexie lost her phone. the end.

I'm Your Puppet

so im writing this in notepad and im gonna upload it when i can. internet is dead again. anyways.... alyssas party. twas a good party. better than courtneys. kate brought condoms so we were throwing them around a fair bit. i climbed on the roof and put a purple one on her brothers second storey window. and when emily left i managed to hang one off the back of her pants as she was walkin out the door. i was proud. but then kate was leaving so i put one in the hood of her hoodie... dunno if she found it or not. i walked out to meet kates mum and someone said 'josh u should moon kates mum' so i did. but then i realised that kates mum was in a different car a little bit further down the street. turns out i mooned mr garrett on his way to pick rhianon up. fml. tried to blow smoke rings... i think i only managed one lol. took a while for everyone to leave, then me n courtney n alyssa opened her presents. there was some cool stuff. there was this really uber pink girly present n courtney was like 'how funny would it be if that was from justin'... it was. i loled at that. but then alyssa read the card n i loled harder. it said something like 'i hope you enjoy everybodies costumes....' something seriously faglike. went to bed after that. me n alyssa n courtney were talkin n then courtney would say something totally random like 'yes, shes always lived there' me n alyssa were like wtf. turns out courtney was falling asleep n talkin in her sleep. wierdo... n she breathes really loud when shes alseep. ummmm thats about all i think. ive got to write an essay and learn a monoluogue now... bye. x

My Elmo Mug... Nuff Said

check out my elmo mug.... coolest shiz out. it even has his name on the inside.

not to self: cold coffee blows.

this shit is awesome. jake byrd makes me wanna pass out from loling too hard.

My 50th Post... Wow

so today is thursday. i woke up totally believing that it was wednesday, until about 11:30 when i realised holy shit its thursday. then i realised holy shit its alyssas birthday. which means tomorrow night is her partay... should be good. hopefully. my peeps went to the square today, i couldnt go coz mum tells me i have to do skool work. which is true. but it sucks also. my life is so boring lol. but it could be worse. i was talking to some webcam chick from the czech republic last night. her name is EVELYNXX. do u know what she does for a living? webcaming. she wakes up and turns on her webcam. when somebody tips her she does a little dance and gets a little naked but thats it. thats her whole life right there. its pretty crazy how she doesnt stab her pimp and start living her life a bit. i mean, shes 27 years old and hasnt got a real job or any real relationships with ppl. because of what she does, her family avoid her and she has no friends. its a shit way to live. i cant imagine living like that. well thats my rant for the day. i think im addicted to blogger lol. i check it every few hours. its kinda scary actually. umm i cant really think of anything more to say. x

just made noodles for lunch... with the biggest freaking flavor packet ive ever seen! and it smells like shit. yaha... i feel so midgetised by this encounter with overly large noodles.

Warning: Contains 405g/L Acetone

its cold and wet and autnicless. there are two big petrol tankers parked on the road... broken down i think. one on each side of the road. about four minutes ago a big truck almost ran into them. at least it would be warm if they blew up. i dyed my hair black last night... not sure if i like it or not. but its for alyssas party on friday so whatevs. feeling bored and listless... want to do something. but i dont know what. alyssas party should be good... hopefully its dry and warm, but i doubt that. i need money... i want a les paul, or maybe two. yeah, two. one in alpine white with black hardware and one in cherry burst with chrome hardware. that way i have something to play no matter what mood im in. if i was a rock star i would always have ppl around me... id never feel lonely or isolated. there would always be something or someone to do. which would be sweet. not really sure why im typing this... i guess doing something is infinitely better than doing nothing. i wonder what would happen if those petrol tankers blew up... would i die? can you imagine if i did lol... what a lousy way to go. i wanna die having sex or choking on my own drug induced vomit or with a shotgun in my mouth... thats my short list lol. fuck im in a weird mood. maybe its this glue im sniffing. i just read back at what i typed... all you internet ppl must think im some kind of perverted weirdo. which, in a way, i guess i am. crazy josh out.

as it turns out it was aarons board... not justins. oops...

I'm Your Christ To Die On You

so im starting to think that god or whoever the fuck is in charge of my internet hates me. its been down since good friday... only got it back about three minutes ago. so this post is probs gonna be looong. ummmm so im not really sure where i left off.... ill start at the beginning of the hollidays. has been boring to the extreme... went to kirkham skatepark with justin... didnt do much really. i was to chicken to try any dropins, coz i like how my face is currently arranged. walked/skated back to my place after... stopped at a playground where justin axed himself by backflippin off a swing. i laughed and filmed it :D. as we got closer to my place justin stops and pulls an old porno mag out of the bushes at the side of the road. i had a look before he opened it and saw the words "FUCKING GRANNY" on the page... wtf? so im like, 'dude, it says fuckin granny' and he ignored me and opened it and he came face to face with a naked fat seventy year old playing with her tits. pissed myself laughing. justin looks at granny porn. sicko. ummm.... he left his board at my place n i gotta remember to give it to him tomorrow... i tagged it :D. i wonder how drunk patty got at kates... fuckwit. wtf kind of person wants to get totally smashed? with parents like hers? idk... i just dont get the reasoning. had family over yesterday... had to listen to my uncle telling me 'what do u mean u havnt had any pussy yet?! find someone and stick your dick in!!!'.... my family rule. oh and i have unfortunately given in and had a tug. well, i woke up doing it so im not sure if that counts or not? but my holidays are seriously boring... and i still need to think of what to go to alyssas as... sid? and holy shit just remembered... ive had three people tell me that i look like edward cullen in the last week.... bella, my mum, and some fat little asian lady that came up to me at the townie. she was like 'ummm... are u that guy from that vampire movie?' and i was like no... then she asked if i do acting or modelling and i was like 'ummm... my mums calling me...' and walked off. scary shit. i think this post is long enough now... until next time. x

Make Me Smile

my mothereffing internet is at it again. cept our phones went dead too. only for the past two days. i have decided that my body is a temple and have given up masturbation until the end of the holidays... still havnt given in. which is crazy i think, going from three times a day (five on weekends) to zilch. im proud of myself. i even wrote the words "do not wank" on my dick in permanent texta. tmi lol. watched the last episode of skins... skippy... was the awesomest ending ever. they all sing, which i think is rad. ppl should break into random song more often. also watched the extras... pretty sweet. umm thats all i guess. end trans.

The Rise and Fall of Herbert

tis a sad day... not really though. im just saying that because herbert has passed away. justin brought in two actually gay beetles that were having gay 69ers and bjs etc in front of herbert. and he died of HIV. he caught it off a couple of poofter beetles. the awesomest beetle in the world has been struck down by a disease that i thought only african kids could get. wtf is wrong with the world. imma bury him tomorrow... gotta make a coffin. i think i might paint it black. like the song. stayed back after school today... till 5 or whenever mum picked me up. nerdiest shit out. sat there with justin and a deaf shit pretending to be interested with thier nerdy talk. talky talky. tomorrow shall be the last day of term. which sucks because odds are im not going to see very much of my friends. and they kinda keep me ticking. x

The Party of That Courtney Chick

courtneys party. sweetness (jimmy eat world). twas awesome. cept for the parts which involved me + jessica m. dont even go there. ever. i think courtney liked the rice i gave her... maybe not lol. and herbert cant jump on trampolines. i tried to flip with him in my pocket... he just put me right off balance, so courtney so nicely took him. now her family thinks im even wierder than before. which i thought was not possible. but it was a sweet night. playing popcorn with tobias.... i would have won that shit. honest. courtneys friend was pretty hot, i think her name was emily?!?! idk. and i have a new name (thnx tobias) 'crazy josh'. loves it. oh yea... toby lickin pattys tongue. lol. patty so loved it. trampolines are the shit i want one now. cept i got nowhere to put it. ive got this new theory that trampolines are gods way of separating fat ppl from skinny ppl. if ur fat u bounce everyone off, if ur skinny you get absolutely hammered. im so effing sore right now... specially my left leg. i think ive pulled something lol it hurts to walk on it. crazy josh out. x

My Day of Pure Nothingness

courtneys party tonight. should be effing sweet. it stormed like a bitch last night, worst storm ive ever been in. the church out my bedroom window got struck by lightninga few times... slightly different spots. creepiest thing is seeing a church get struck by lightning on the cross. i opened my window and got a face full of wind and rain. i imagine that was the closest im ever gonna come to a hurricane. need to shower and shave... ill do it in a bit. hope tonight is awesome... it should be. fingers crossed. oh yea and i need to do my drama assesment... ill do it tomorrow. i just cant be stuffed right now. oh and i changed my layout back to my old one... my new one effed up too much. x

I Got Nothin'

i cant believe what just happened to me. i looked over to where i left herberts body on my desk and he wasnt there. i thought some prick stole my beetle... but then i look on the floor and herbert has come back to life and crawled off my desk onto the floor! im not even kidding... he was dead. now hes not. hes crawlin around in front of me. im so freaked out right now. friggin ET could walk into my room and i wouldnt care. thats how freaked out i am right now.

In Memorium

herbert is dead. this occured sometime between lunch and when i arrived home. i do not know how it happened. but it think he was feeling everyones bad vibes and held his breath for too long. possibly. may his soul rest in heaven. i will bury him on monday... have to clean him up a little first so he looks good for god. tis a sad day.

Bored Before Boredom

guess what? courtneys partay tomorrow evening. awesome. still gotta get her a present lol. she should get a blog. courtney, if you are reading this u should get a blog. coz right now ur like the kfc in a box of mcnuggets. true story.

Fuel My Illusion

well im feeling better. 100% some might say. at lunch had a meeting with the internerds. yup, internerds. my new name for them. like nerd + internet. anyway, had a meeting with them re the church website we have to design. that deaf kid is a cock. just putting it out there. hes really startin to piss me off. so imma show him up sometime. lol i show him up anyway... i still have my hearing. that was slack. oh well. i doubt hes gonna read it anyway. after that 'meeting' (it was really just a chance to laugh at the geeks) me n jess n alyssa n patty ventured to the canteen to purchase my lunch with the six dollars i found in drama. we couldnt be effed walkin back through the cold and rain to where we sit. so we sat in the cafeteria, where it was nice and warm. then in maths grant stopped talking to me n jess. he has since began talkin to jess. i dunno wtf hes being an idiot bout. and in maths mrs jones confiscated herbert! i was feeding him musk stick (and he was actually eating it) when she came over and stole him. i got him back after class but i could totally tell he was shaken by the experience of being kidnapped. if he dies it is due to the stress and trauma he has been through. justin told me bout this site. is it wrong to feel hungry when i see these pics?

A Really Long Post

well not many people have posted today. thanks alyssa for lettin me know. so my day started of ok... feelin a bit better after a looong talk with jess last night. maybe it was short, but it felt long. and made me feel a ton better. even though we didnt actually talk bout anything. life is strange. the other day grant told me that he wants to kill herbert. like actually squish him. but i put that down to grant being his usual masochistic self. but then in roll call or whatever the fuck its called this year courtney so nicely informed me that she also wants herbert dead. and then she told me she hates me. herbert has a price on his head... ppl are out to get him. hes kinda like tupac now. minus the bullet holes and death. maybe im annoying people with herbert. if i am, then i am sorry. but talkin bout herbert means im not talkin bout myself. which is good. i might even go so far as to say that a part of me wants herbert dead too. i will even lift the punishment for killing herbert... just coz i can. and coz right now the only face i want to punch is my own... which would be difficult. i get the feeling im being a bit of a jerk. i really am sorry. even for posting depressing shit that nobody needs to know on here. but i think it helps me. so i just want you all to know that i have forgotten what i was going to say.
damn it.
that sucks.
i wonder how the mock trial went. actually, no i dont. i just need to talk. yesterday was a shit day. i was ready to do something stupid right up until jess started talkin to me. which helped. thanks jess. however today was also a shit day. but im feeling marginally better right now than i was yesterday. shallow people bring me down. grow some feelings. i feel like a fraud. how much of me is really me? and how much is the superficial persona i have built up over time? alyssa said she wants to learn drums! yay! hopefully she sticks at them longer than courtney. get it? sticks. i am so lame. this is going to be a really long post. i dont mean to waste anybodys time. what if i take back the mask that i hide behind and dont like who i am? i think im slipping back into old habits. my really old habits... the bad bad bad ones. i feel so lost. but i know where i am. this probably sounds like the ramblings of a lunatic, but maybe i am one. oh and humanity, please erase everything here from your mind once u reach the end. its just meaningless raving. not as in the disco variety. talkin to alyssa now. and i cant be stuffed elongating this post any further. over and out.