Squeaky Toys Are Not For The Anus

i feel ashamed and dirty. not dirty as in horny... dirty as in violated. today i did probably the grossest most uncomfortable stunts i have ever done. in my defence i didnt really think it through and did not in any way enjoy it. if you saw me at the athletics carnival you may have noticed i was carrying around a red horn. well i decided it would be a good idea to remove the squeaky valve that honks when you blow air through it. then it was decided by cameron, john, and myself that it would be simply hilarious if i inserted said valve into my anal cavity and farted. i did. it honked. it was funny. but then i started to think back on what i had just done. and now i feel ashamed and dirty. x

A Poem

at the moment i feel fine
but i'll want to die
by the third line

Please Don't Take My Man

so its the last week of the holidays and im hanging out for tashs party. gonna try and pull of the legendary mirrorball suit... hope i find the time. chillaxing to 'jolene' by the white stripes... radtastic. um yea we should do something after tashs... anyone? coz i am bored shiteless and am catching up on 19 physics pracs i havnt done and am going fucking mental. so get me outta here. x

My Story

once upon a time there was a guy and a girl. they were in love. except he loved her so much and could never show it. she mistook this for not caring and tried to leave him. he broke down and she took him back, but secretly she was scared of the depth of feeling he had for her. one day she got cancer and he loved her right up until the day she drifted away. when she died, a little part of him died too. coz loving her was the only thing that made him truly happy. x

this sounds surprisingly good. party on. x

Kleptomania

so i finished work placement today. twas not so bad i guess... here is a list of everything i scabbed/stole:
-1gb ddr2 ram
-2gb ddr2 ram
-3.0ghz pentium processor
-2.8ghz pentium processor
-gigabyte motherboard with sata
-dvd burner
-80gb sata hdd
-floppy drive
-2x psu's
-new case
-pci express ethernet card
-2x cd burners
i am such a klepto... im not sure whether to be proud or ashamed. but my morals have been fucked up for a while. x

I Can't Feel My Foot

work placement is a bitch. im feeling dazed and confused. just like the song. i never wake up thinking that the world is just beginning. but i always go to bed with the thought it may be ending. if the world was ending... who would you save? x

this is probs one of the coolest things ive seen in a while. x

How To Become A Mermaid

i absolutely adore idiotic yahoo answers questions... but this one takes the cake. x

Nostalgia Isn't What It Used To Be

its amazing how one day you dont even know somebodies name and the next day you feel like you know everything about them. well obviously not everything... but thats what it feels like. idk. i just find it odd. ppl are incredible. yesterday i was at the townie in the food court downing a blue frozen fanta from maccas (that shit is awesome) when this couple sat at a table near me... they were about my age, possibly younger, but not by much. then the guy got up and went to kfc to get food and left the girl sitting there all alone. i didnt really notice until he walked back with food + another girl. i thought the first girl was gonna cry she looked so hurt. but only for a moment. after that it was all fake smiles and laughter. but i think i may have witnessed a breakup. and not an obvious one... but a breakup where only one person knows about it and the other person is left to figure it out for themselves. or possibly the first girl wanted the guy and couldnt stand to see him with another girl. which sucks. coz now i know that a random girl probably cried herself to sleep last night. and i cant get that out of my head. x

It Might Get Loud

holy shit i stumbled across this trailer... im dying to see this now lol. thought u internet ppl might like to see it to. maybe we could even see it together. x

Change Is Inevitable, Except From A Vending Machine

'sometimes i wonder if i have a mental illness. i dont want to tell anyone because im scared that my fears would be confirmed. so i dont tell people what is going on in my head, and i just pretend to be as normal as i possibly can.' wow. that shit is so deep but extraordinarily valid to my circumstance. dont hav to go to work placement this week coz the guy doing it is sick. meh, i guess that means i gotta go to my grandparents with my sister. im in a really wierd mood... maybe i forgot to take my meds last night? or maybe im just like that. it goes like this... when im with people i feel so alone, but when im alone i want to be with people. i am concerned that the pills i take to stop me from killing myself also stop me from actually living. in conclusion, i think we are all suicide soldiers... we put on the mask of contentment and happiness every day when all we want to do is drift away into lonely martyrdom. maybe all our heroes failed. or maybe we are all just our own disease. x

Police Are Looking For A Stolen Toilet, So Far They Have Nothing To Go On

so its school holidays, which is good. cept for the fact i gotta do work placement next week... and i cant wear jeans to it! not happy bout that. but i talked my way out of doing a second week of work placement so its not as bad as it could be. i finally saw transformers last night... v. good. megan fox is tre hot. hopefully one day ill be getting mouth raped by a robot and she will bust in and save my ass. or maybe not. i dont have many plans for these holidays... macbeth, tash's party and possibly lukes party. that is about it. hopefully japc invite me to something... otherwise its gonna be a loooong three weeks. totally pumped that justine is back in masterchef... that chick is uber hot and it sucks that shes seven years too old for me. i wanna make a wireless guitar lead... i might do that with my excess of spare time. oh and vando said he might 'drop by' this weekend so my mum can sign some forms or something... pretty creepy. oh yea, i almost forgot, im fo shizzle going to greenday mofos! x