Squeaky Toys Are Not For The Anus

i feel ashamed and dirty. not dirty as in horny... dirty as in violated. today i did probably the grossest most uncomfortable stunts i have ever done. in my defence i didnt really think it through and did not in any way enjoy it. if you saw me at the athletics carnival you may have noticed i was carrying around a red horn. well i decided it would be a good idea to remove the squeaky valve that honks when you blow air through it. then it was decided by cameron, john, and myself that it would be simply hilarious if i inserted said valve into my anal cavity and farted. i did. it honked. it was funny. but then i started to think back on what i had just done. and now i feel ashamed and dirty. x