Dear Life, Be My Friend

i have no friends. well, i have friends obviously and people that classify me as a friend etc etc... but i dont feel like i belong. feel pretty shunned actually. i was sitting at recess next to cameron and i thought "nobody would even notice if im not here"... this is true. i doubt that ppl would notice if i wasnt around. maybe one day someone would say "what happened to that fucked up kid?", but i would be forgotten pretty easily. as courtney pointed out, my life is boring. im a boring person. it really does suck to be me. but imma still try to hold out to 27. hopefully ill get cancer and ppl will like me because imma die soon. but thats probs not gonna happen. or maybe ill just randomly start giving things away and kill myself so sick ppl can have my organs. ala seven pounds. idk. lots to think about. x